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Jessica Fletcher.

admin — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 20:01:20 +0000

This sterile 60-year old solves crime in her free time. What do you do?

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You look terrible today

admin — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:26:09 +0000

Inspiration struck me when I looked terrible one day. Very inspiring year all in all. Now, did you notice the close resemblance to “der gute Zeitgeist”? Because there is none. Now put on some pants and get out of here, you rascal!…

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Der gute Zeitgeist

admin — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 12:52:50 +0000

Lovable! Definitely likeable. Yes, you can get along with this theme. Have you noticed the slight delay before the title font is replaced? You shouldn’t have because this theme even likes you. Yes, you! My God, that’s something! And it’s a somewhat accomplished theme too. Even got a little timeshare in Boca, a second family that is. But hey, who are you to judge? You’re a Radovan Karadžić compared to that saintly theme, that’s who!
Okay, okay, easy now, let’s all calm down and have a milk.

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Frosted Glass

admin — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 12:51:44 +0000

Haughty is what comes to mind when seeing this theme. If nothing’s coming to your mind, don’t worry, it’s cancer probably but not very treatable. Don’t worry. This theme comes along fashionably malnourished and knows to impress with it’s slender frame and its willingness to eat its own afterbirth when times are bad. And times are bad! Times are bad and afterbirth is full of carbs. That bad!

Oh, and here’s another word in italics in order to comply with the international conventions for italics use in short paragraphs:
sarah.

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Orange Peel

admin — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 12:50:00 +0000

There is no actual orange peel in this theme because your mom told me you’re allergic. Your mom and I get along great if that’s what you’re asking. She’s a tough, accomplished young devil, that one! But she has kids so it’s a no go.
The header is terrible if you’re asking me.

New York

admin — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 12:49:12 +0000

Slobodan Milošević designed this theme while being incarcerated at the Hague. His mates were all like hey Slo (yeah, they called him Slo but Milošević hadn’t even gotten through the first Harry Potter in English so he didn’t really understand), hey Slo, why are you designing a tumblr theme!? What gives? But he wouldn’t say anything so they left him alone. He had a really hard time making friends. I think you can somehow see this reflected in this theme.

White Milk

admin — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 12:47:58 +0000

The foundation for bloated code issues themes like these bicentennially in order to remind us how not only bloated code can be but also how unattractive to look at. White Milk appeals to the worst in us – our love for animal secretions. So do yourself a favor and have some cake. Cake can always be had.

Vintage Stripes

admin — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 12:46:21 +0000

Ugghh, don’t look, don’t look… oh the humanity!
I found this theme – an abortion survivor – digging through my trash, fashioning puppets from human hair and begging me with a raspy voice to kill him. So I did… it wasn’t pretty…

Paper Walls

admin — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:41:17 +0000

It’s my first-born. And if we’re following this analogy (we are) it’s also the first kid I subjected to a complete bodily overhaul. Like, face off and a big set of breasts, I’m not asking gender here. It’s also still the most successful theme I’ve made if by success we’re counting the mere installs (we are) and not the emotional attachment or families abandoned.

But you’re looking at it and you’re thinking, that skin’s a little tight around the ears, it looks sort of constantly surprised. But you know what!? Maybe it is! I resent the implication the business trips to the Czech Republic were for anything else than meet-ups with some eHarmony gals (ladies, that is!) and/or human trafficking. Resent it! God! Now I, like, have to reapply my mascara. Geez! If this day gets any worse I’m aborting this face!